Ever Elusive Inner Peace!!!

An uneventful lazy Sunday, got up late and whiled away the time with my laptop on my bean bag. In the evening, made a sudden decision to go to the church with my friend. Living in a very small and quiet college town, going to the church for some peace of mind a bit odd. But of late, been having a stressful semester with many parallel yet connected confusion threads running in my mind. Living in a house where at any given point of the day there are at least 6 – 7 people screaming and talking does not really help much in having a peaceful time.

I have been trying out different methods in search of the much sought after peace this semester, like weekly yoga classes, meditation ,classical music, books etc. But you see, I find it very difficult to keep my eyes closed for three minutes let alone concentrate and meditate. And for the rest, well, as a graduate student, there is always the TIME factor that comes in between even though I passionately make up ‘daily’ to – do lists, ‘weekly’ to – do lists. I still love doing the to – do lists and my personal and office desktop is full of colorful sticky notes.

Anyways, that being said, I decided to go to the St. Mary’s Catholic Church in College Station. I have visited the church a few times before and even taken a friend to the church and he really enjoyed it. This Sunday, I really paid attention to the mass; in a sincere effort to de- stress myself. I have been pretty hassled the past few weeks and I have shown the frustration on near and dear ones and was feeling very guilty. I do not want to get too religious, but let’s just say I felt really good when I walked out. My mind was much clearer and I felt really really good and fresh. As we walked back home in the dusk, my little town looked beautiful, there were bunches of jasmine, wild orchids and roses in full bloom everywhere. It’s a testimony to how much better I felt because I appreciated jasmine. A flower, which I don’t like and used to avoid back in India. The weather was pleasant and the air was crisp, it was a good walk as me and my friend walked back talking cheerfully. I felt lighter and I wanted to pen down this, so that I could read it in times of pressure and remind myself – “This too shall pass”. 

I am no way close to finding inner peace, I understand it does not come easily to us humans as it does to  Po, the beloved Kung Fu fighting panda, but yeah, whatever, I sure did find peace that evening, at dusk smelling the jasmines and the roses as I walked back home.