A little this,a little that..

Been more than a year since I visited this space to pen down my opinions. There was no lack of thoughts or situations which I wanted to bring to this blog, on the contrary this past year has been adventurous. The year has been busy, moved twice in a year to two of the busiest cities EVER, new job, new people, new relationships and more responsibilities. The year where I travelled almost all the time to all sorts of places, from a regular urban hub to sleepy old technologically challenged towns. Recently, my parents who always encourage my talents urged me to start blogging again. That coupled with a visit to Stanford University brought back memories of the days when I used to spend hours in my university campus reading things that interest me... 

Jotting down some of the weirdest or unexpected conversations that I had with random strangers this past year in the most unexpected places.

   1)  Met a Nigerian who loves Shah Rukh Khan and whose idea of a date night is watching Bollywood movies with his wife on a Friday night. He even has indian clothes;including the fancy jodhpuri footwear and wears them whenever he gets a chance. What really had me off the hook was when he quoted Amitabh Bachhan’s dialogue from “Sholay”. I mean really?

  2) Learnt to make really good egg plant parmesan and home made marinara sauce from an Italian restaurateur’s granddaughter. The thrill I had when I came to know the secret recipe that has been passed down several generations.

  3) A person who could not stop talking about his visit to India and how the Ramana Maharishi Ashram has had a positive influence on him.

  4) A doctor from Minneapolis who backpacked half way across the country in the late 80s, got broke and lived in California in a broken car for 6 months and then saved enough to get back home. (This was by far the craziest story I heard).

Refreshing and interesting as these conversations where, it led me to think about the way people interact with strangers or new acquaintances in India and US. In India, there is a basic fear; which has only increased manifold over the past years due to all the unpleasant news; that it is not safe to talk to strangers or be outside. (If you are a girl, then this is probably all that you hear till you become an adult, and if you have a feminist side like me then it is probably difficult to adhere to these rules). While the current corrupt state of society demands that each individual takes extra precaution; it may also in some cases demoralize an individual’s basic right to speak. On the contrary, people in some of the western countries appear to be friendlier with strangers. It is real common for a stranger to strike up random small talk with you and then never meet you again. This made me reflect on something I had read in the recent times, which classified cultures as either a peach or a coconut culture. In peach cultures like USA most people appear to be seemingly over friendly with new acquaintances. They say “Hi, How are you” to people who walk next to them, smile at strangers and share some degree of personal information. But after a while, you are likely to hit the hard shell of the peach where conversations might get awkward.

In coconut cultures such as India, people are not trusting or friendly with strangers. If anything, they try to avoid them or maintain a “hard” coconut shell in front of new acquaintances. But with time, the outer shell of the coconut warms up and all you see is a warmer, softer inner side. There is a reason why coconut culture works better for some countries and peach cultures for others. Nonetheless, we all encounter peaches and coconuts daily!Understanding what we are..will help us build these relationships better.. I think I am a little bit of both, as I do have my inhibitions about talking with strangers, but love to travel and meet new people and get a sense of their culture from them rather than reading about it. :) 

What about you? Are you a peach or a coconut?

                                                        

Grandparents - A blessing!

Living with grandparents when you are growing up, imbibes in children some teachings for life, some of which you will learn long after you grow up.I recently had such an experience.

I am from a family, where every individual is deeply musically inclined.My grandfather was famous for  two things - his Aalapanas and temper. At any time of the day, he can be seen listening to MS or Semmangudi on his beloved transistor and performing an aalapana along with it. There are three main things that everyone in my family always picture my grandfather with

1.  An old “transistor” (radio)
2.      "Easy" Chair
3.      "The Hindu" newspaper

 As a young kid, when I get ready for school in the morning, I always hear  “aboghi”, or “sankarabaranam” on podhigai. And when I am back from school and want to watch cartoons, there will again be ladies wearing rich “pattu” sarees  with “arakku” border and neatly braided hair singing on the television.  I never understood the beauty or the interest in carnatic music then.

As any other girl from an Iyer family, I was sent  to paatu class even before I went to my kinder garten. If any elderly visits our house or if it is the “golu” season or just another random evening, my paati ‘ s standard instruction to me, was to sing a varanam or keerthanai. The entire family will gather around to appreciate or suggest improvements on my singing. “What joy do these people find with Carnatic music?” used to be my thought.

The madras music festivel in December has the same effect on my family as a World Cup series has in any Indian home. Mylapore fine arts, naradha gaana sabha yesudas kutchery schedules flying around, and taking me along to some of the concerts. As a 10 yr old, sitting in a concert listening to an elderly man singing seemed absolutely ridiculous to me. I did begin to enjoy the music, but 2 hours is an overdose.  As I grew up, due to tuitions, extra classes, etc, I did not have any time to pursue nor enjoy any of these, neither did I miss it.

Now in Texas, I have frequent strong desires to listen to “sabhapathiku veru deivam”  or MS singing “maithrim bajatha” and feel thankful youtube has all these links. I can vividly picturize my  grandfather,with his pure white hair on his easy chair, slowly tapping his hand to the “thalas” and nodding his head in appreciation. I guess, even if you are generations different, some genes just cannot be changed.

I am forever thankful to all the wonderful things my family continues to teach and instill in me, to mould me into a better person.

Ever Elusive Inner Peace!!!

An uneventful lazy Sunday, got up late and whiled away the time with my laptop on my bean bag. In the evening, made a sudden decision to go to the church with my friend. Living in a very small and quiet college town, going to the church for some peace of mind a bit odd. But of late, been having a stressful semester with many parallel yet connected confusion threads running in my mind. Living in a house where at any given point of the day there are at least 6 – 7 people screaming and talking does not really help much in having a peaceful time.

I have been trying out different methods in search of the much sought after peace this semester, like weekly yoga classes, meditation ,classical music, books etc. But you see, I find it very difficult to keep my eyes closed for three minutes let alone concentrate and meditate. And for the rest, well, as a graduate student, there is always the TIME factor that comes in between even though I passionately make up ‘daily’ to – do lists, ‘weekly’ to – do lists. I still love doing the to – do lists and my personal and office desktop is full of colorful sticky notes.

Anyways, that being said, I decided to go to the St. Mary’s Catholic Church in College Station. I have visited the church a few times before and even taken a friend to the church and he really enjoyed it. This Sunday, I really paid attention to the mass; in a sincere effort to de- stress myself. I have been pretty hassled the past few weeks and I have shown the frustration on near and dear ones and was feeling very guilty. I do not want to get too religious, but let’s just say I felt really good when I walked out. My mind was much clearer and I felt really really good and fresh. As we walked back home in the dusk, my little town looked beautiful, there were bunches of jasmine, wild orchids and roses in full bloom everywhere. It’s a testimony to how much better I felt because I appreciated jasmine. A flower, which I don’t like and used to avoid back in India. The weather was pleasant and the air was crisp, it was a good walk as me and my friend walked back talking cheerfully. I felt lighter and I wanted to pen down this, so that I could read it in times of pressure and remind myself – “This too shall pass”. 

I am no way close to finding inner peace, I understand it does not come easily to us humans as it does to  Po, the beloved Kung Fu fighting panda, but yeah, whatever, I sure did find peace that evening, at dusk smelling the jasmines and the roses as I walked back home.

Of Bajjis and Burritos..!

Morning 6.30

Snoooozeeee….

…

After an hour!

Jump out of the bed! OMG! I am late for work! Bus is in exactly 22 minutes. I have to clock in 20 hours at work as an international graduate student. Gulped down a glass of milk, a hundred things running in my mind, I run to the bus stop with a cookie in one hand. Whew! I made it. Oh wait, I forgot to pack lunch.

How could I? There was no time. Although my freezer, like any other graduate student, is full of frozen items that I just have to microwave, there is almost always never any time for me to have breakfast or pack lunch.

Eating out is not an option. There are two constraints –

1. As a graduate student, Dollar to Rupee conversion is always running in your mind.
2. As a pakka Brahmin Iyer girl, who grew up in the very “Iyerish” Mylapore area of Madras( by that I mean strictly no non-veg), 99% of the eating out options are not even eligible to be counted as options.

Sighh!!

One evening, walking back home from University, I was way too tired and starving, I was so relieved to see Chipotle.(Mexican restaurant). I decided to go in and get myself something. As I paid 6 dollars for my burrito bowl(Mind voice:6*55 Rupees, I can dine like a queen in Saravana Bhavan).As I was sitting all alone in Chipotle that evening, it struck me, I have been out alone most of the time. But of course, I had my phone, iPod and laptop all the time. That evening, my phone and iPod were conked out. And I had not got my laptop. I realized that it’s been a while since I had some time just for myself. (And I mean without any gadgets to fiddle with).It was pleasant. It was a relief. It was my time. And I love every single second of it. I guess, when people are alone they reminisce a lot about the past and learn a lot by themselves.

I thought of all the times when I have taken the home – cooked food for granted, skipped meals. Of the times when my amma and appa used to teach me little things in life, like not wasting food, being punctual, spending wisely etc,and I as a little girl used to keep day dreaming as they talk. My amma’s words rang in my mind – “ Nee perisana aprom unakku theriyum”.(“You will understant once you grow up.”). How true!!!

I was sitting by myself for an hour, looking at the road, at the people pouring over their laptops, speeding through the lanes, and I realized how busy we get in our daily lives, we hardly have time to think and spend time by ourselves.

As I walk by myself, in a place far away from home, I mull over many things, I am thankful for many things –

I am thankful for my family for what I am,

I am thankful to all my friends for loving me for what I am

For all the little things in life that presents itself in subtle ways unexpectedly and makes me smile,

And for the Mexicans who brought their food into the US of A so that people like me (read veg and spice loving Indians) can have something that reminds them remotely of home.