Been more than a year since I visited this space to
pen down my opinions. There was no lack of thoughts or situations which I
wanted to bring to this blog, on the contrary this past year has been
adventurous. The year has been busy, moved twice in a year to two of the
busiest cities EVER, new job, new people, new relationships and more
responsibilities. The year where I travelled almost all the time to all sorts
of places, from a regular urban hub to sleepy old technologically challenged
towns. Recently, my parents who always encourage my talents urged me to start
blogging again. That coupled with a visit to Stanford University brought back
memories of the days when I used to spend hours in my university campus reading things that interest me...
Jotting down some of the weirdest or unexpected
conversations that I had with random strangers this past year in the most
unexpected places.
1) Met a Nigerian who loves
Shah Rukh Khan and whose idea of a date night is watching Bollywood movies with
his wife on a Friday night. He even has indian clothes;including the fancy
jodhpuri footwear and wears them whenever he gets a chance. What really had me
off the hook was when he quoted Amitabh Bachhan’s dialogue from “Sholay”. I
mean really?
2) Learnt to make really good egg plant parmesan and home made marinara sauce from an Italian restaurateur’s
granddaughter. The thrill I had when I came to know the secret recipe that has
been passed down several generations.
3) A person who could not stop talking
about his visit to India and how the Ramana Maharishi Ashram has had a positive
influence on him.
4) A doctor from Minneapolis who
backpacked half way across the country in the late 80s, got broke and lived in
California in a broken car for 6 months and then saved enough to get back home.
(This was by far the craziest story I heard).
Refreshing and interesting as these conversations
where, it led me to think about the way people interact with strangers or new
acquaintances in India and US. In India, there is a basic fear; which has only
increased manifold over the past years due to all the unpleasant news; that it
is not safe to talk to strangers or be outside. (If you are a girl, then this
is probably all that you hear till you become an adult, and if you have a
feminist side like me then it is probably difficult to adhere to these rules).
While the current corrupt state of society demands that each individual takes
extra precaution; it may also in some cases demoralize an individual’s basic
right to speak. On the contrary, people in some of the western countries appear
to be friendlier with strangers. It is real common for a stranger to strike up
random small talk with you and then never meet you again. This made me reflect
on something I had read in the recent times, which classified cultures as
either a peach or a coconut culture. In peach cultures like USA most people
appear to be seemingly over friendly with new acquaintances. They say “Hi, How
are you” to people who walk next to them, smile at strangers and share some
degree of personal information. But after a while, you are likely to hit the
hard shell of the peach where conversations might get awkward.
In coconut cultures such as India, people are not
trusting or friendly with strangers. If anything, they try to avoid them or
maintain a “hard” coconut shell in front of new acquaintances. But with time,
the outer shell of the coconut warms up and all you see is a warmer, softer
inner side. There is a reason why coconut culture works better for some countries
and peach cultures for others. Nonetheless, we all encounter peaches and
coconuts daily!Understanding what we are..will help us build these
relationships better.. I think I am a little bit of both, as I do have my
inhibitions about talking with strangers, but love to travel and meet new
people and get a sense of their culture from them rather than reading about it.
:)
What about you? Are you a peach or a coconut?
